How y’all doing out there ? – or rather, in there – you know, in your house… where you all should be. I hope you are all safe , healthy and sane. I hope you all have enough toilet paper and hand sanitizer and i sure as shit hope all the people who have to be out there have what they need to stay safe to keep the rest of us safe. I don’t want to get political but all my arguments since 2016 have been about humanity and not politics and here we are again – talking about humanity.
My 5 year old has fallen asleep almost every night (since school closed) in my bed. I don’t care. He was anxious before this and if this helps him feel less anxious then I am all in (and also, it makes ME feel less anxious and I also don’t care about that).
AND- I am not going to try to make our house his classroom – I couldn’t even if I wanted to because I have to work from home.
I am lucky- I have my job and income and even though my prior screentime rules are out the window , I get to see my boy every day through a stressful time. I will “teach” in between his TV shows and I will pretend ABCmouse doesn’t count as screentime because we are just trying to get through. Everyone is trying to get through and there is no right way other than STAYING HOME if you can.
Those are the days – the nights , the nights are when I can worry – about his health, my mom”s health, my health, your health – about all the families I work with. I have been dreaming about work- about unsafe things happening (because they will and they are) and I do not wake up rested.
We are at day 24 and for some, you are further along, and must be even more tired. But I know – I KNOW – that we are going to get through because I know – I KNOW – that there is no way BUT through. Even when it is hard and heartbreaking and you are anxious and angry and sad – there is no way but through. This – this is grief and all its stages- and my only ask , besides staying home, is be gentle with yourself.
Hopefully this summer , I will be hugging anyone who gives me consent.